Welcome to 2020 my friends. We’ve made it. You made it. I’m so proud of you, of us.

If you’ve been with me for a while then you already know about my yearly themes. But just in case you don’t…For the past few years I have come up with a theme for the year. This theme usually comes to me within the last few weeks of the previous year. Last years theme was choose joy. What that meant to me was that regardless of my circumstances I was going to choose to be joyful. I was going to choose to understand that yes life comes with bad, but that inside of the bad there will always be some good and “choose joy” encouraged me to look for that good and choose to be joyful regardless.

This was no easy task. Although I was hopeful, 2019 tested me in ways that honestly brought me far too close to my breaking point. Aside from all of that, 2019 taught me about me in a way that I cannot begin to explain. I’m STILL processing the lessons I’ve learned and the rate of my growth. Significant would be a severe understatement. Throughout all of that, this little reminder remained at the side of my bed.

I saw it every night before I slept and every morning as I woke and it commanded me to be above my feelings. To be above my circumstances. To be above my challenges. (little note for my Christian readers out there, did you know that joy is actually a command? Learn more here)

Because of this, I was challenged to see my circumstances, regardless of how dire they seemed, as what they were, temporary. Yes, they were discouraging. Yes I cried a lot. And yea, I’m stilllll going through it. BUT one thing I’m super proud of this year is that I didn’t allow myself to drown in my stress and discouragement. I allowed myself to feel what I needed to feel, dealt with it healthily (thank you THERAPYYYY) and proceed with my life choosing to celebrate the parts that brought me joy all along the way. I’m pleased but tiyad. BUT, we’re not done yet.

This year my theme is to live authentically. I tend to (as do many others I’m sure) fall into the easy trap of living your life in a way that only displays what others may be comfortable with. Someone asks you how you’re doing, you say good because you know they really just want to move on and vice versa. This year I want to ask people how they’re doing and genuinely be interested in their responses. I want to take off the mask of perfection and live in a way that acknowledges the mere fact that life is not all rainbows and sunshine. Sometimes life is a rainstorm…one that’s been hanging on for a long time. How am I going to be of any use to anyone else’s hard times if I am not comfortable acknowledging my own? This doesn’t mean I’m going to be all doom and gloom. No. I simply want to have a life where when people know that when they’re having a conversation with me, they know I’m being authentic. That is all.

2020 we’re ready for ya!

-Nicole