I cannot go 5 seconds on any form of social media without seeing something about the current drama between Kylie and Jordyn and Tristian and Khloé. Believe me, I’ve tried. So. I figured since I cant get away from it I’d take a moment to chat about this really quick.

**disclaimer** When I decided that this was going to happen I had to do my research accordingly. I do not keep up with these people in the least and do so deliberately. But I am gonna talk about this for a brief second ONLY because I want to address something. I may not be the most informed, but for the angle I’m taking, it doesn’t really matter.

Alright. Heres the timeline I discovered after my research.

1. Khloé and Tristian started dating in 2016. When that started, it was unclear whether Tristian was single or not.
2. Khloé is basically giving birth in 2018 when her man is spotted strutting his stuff at a club “cavorting” as one article put it.
3. Khloé and Tristian are apart publicly, but people are unsure as to whether they are still together or not, although it is rumored that they might be.
4. Enter Jordyn. The model and bff of Kylie. There was a house party, and apparently Jordyn and Tristian got too close.
5. Enter LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE. Virtually stoning this woman for a lapse in judgment.

Okay. Rant time.

I am in a relationship. One that I value and cherish and hope to see blossom into something big and beautiful and permanent. As much as I value my relationship and trust my man, I know without a shadow of a doubt that if someone were to come between us and take his eyes off of me, even if it was just for a moment, that I would wholeheartedly blame him. It is no one else’s responsibility to protect my relationship and my heart but mine and his. Now yes, in a perfect world a woman wouldn’t pursue a man who already has a commitment, but we do not live in a perfect world and there are a lot of women who would rather have the man who has already been though the relationship refining fire and take the finished product than to put in the effort themselves. Which isn’t right, but it makes sense. By the way, I am not saying that this is what Jordyn was up to, I don’t know her business, I just know that she wasn’t the one in a supposed committed relationship.

If a man turns his eyes away from you within your relationship and allows feelings and acts on those feelings and you turn from him and lash out on the woman, then I am sorry honey but you are a BIG part of the problem. Yes you have a right to be angry at the woman, but when it comes down to your relationship HE made the commitment to be loyal to you when you became exclusive…not her.

The reason I really wanted to write on this was not so much directly related to the Kardashians because lets be real….the drama that is constantly happening with them is nauseating and I actually cannot wait until pop culture decides that they are no longer relevant. But because I’ve seen this too many times. Guy and girl get together. Guy and girl are happy. Guy cheats on girl. Girl goes after other girl. Girl forgives guy. I’ve seen it in high school, in college, in adult friendships and most prevalently in TV and I’m so annoyed by it. Even now when I talk to my teens and situations like these come up 90% of them are ready to fight the other woman and are stuck with how to handle the man. It begs the question what are we telling them? And more so, what are we telling ourselves?

The example that actually got me even before this mess surfaced was the entire train wreck that was John Gray and his affair and how he and his wife handled that. Now, again, I have no idea how they handled that at home when the cameras weren’t rolling but to be honest, when you’re that public of a figure and you have people following your example intentionally, what you do in public is just as important. I watched that man whimper on stage about his issue and then watched him and his wife demonize the other woman….and I did not hear him once take accountability for his own actions. Again, I have not deeply investigated this but from what I watched, and read he blamed everything but himself. He blamed being busy. He blamed the congregation for expecting too much of him. He blamed his wife for him sleeping on the couch. The closest he got to blaming himself was blaming the teenaged boy John. I watched this all go down with my head tilted to the side and my hand over my mouth. Not because I’m surprised at how he was acting, but because of how amped his wife was to blame “that strange woman”.

We as woman need to let men wear their big boy pants. If he’s going to be man enough to get cozy with a woman who is NOT his wife and NOT his girl, then we should force him to be man enough to call himself what he is. I’m not a fan of this trend we’ve got going on here. And I am even less of a fan of what we’re teaching this next generation of young men and young women.

So. In closing. If you are a young woman reading this….actually scratch that. If you are a woman reading this periodt! Listen. If a man is going to cheat on you, and make himself the victim, he’s not worth it. Yes, good men make mistakes, but they also own it. I’ve seen that happen too. I’ve seen good men slip up, own their mistakes and change their ways so that they don’t put their woman’s heart at risk again. It’s easy to get caught up (believe me, I have) trying to stalk every girl that your man may talk to and check to see if he liked that pic of her with her cleavage out or that one of her in the bikini and stress yourself to the max every time another girl that you don’t know hits him up. But in reality, if you’re doing right by him and he still goes off to be with someone else, he needs prayer, not diapers. Fighting the other woman doesn’t do anything…because if its in his nature, you’ll be fighting your entire life. I don’t know about you but the idea of that exhausts me. Stop doing exactly what society wants you to do and making other women the enemy. We need to see women as our sisters and help them when they are down. I’ve seen too many women this week attacking Jordyn over social media, it’s become a game. Stop. Stop playing into this “other women are the enemy” narrative…it’s old.

Alright guys! That’s all for today. I rarely write about pop culture events, mainly because I usually have too many thoughts that I feel are counter everyone else’s thoughts and I don’t enjoy conflict, BUT if you enjoyed reading my perspective and want to hear more, let me know and I will continue because I have opinions on EVERYTHING.

See ya next time!

Nicole Eva